Inane Banter

Super-sized Wrongness served on a bed of Wrong

I thought animal-human hybrids sexing up was wrong. It still is but this is far worse.

Sex with dead model ‘was wrong’

Mark Dixie claimed he did not realise she was dead until after he had sex with her body, the Old Bailey heard.

Did he not try the usual methods? Checking for a pulse, mirror in front of the mouth, watching for the chest raising and falling. The sort of thing they might teach you on a first aid course. If you turn up on a course and a friendly nurse suggests the best way to check is to stick your bits into someone at the very least leave the course. Preferably report them.

Giving evidence, he said: “I don’t know what went through my mind. I took full advantage of someone and I should not have done it.”

Let’s just take a quick look at what Mark Dixie classes as taking advantage of somebody is? Maybe it’s buying them a few drinks, lying about being interested romantic comedies, claiming to like cats?

Prosecutors allege Mr Dixie stabbed her seven times and raped her as she was dead or lay dying.

I’m sorry, that’s a bit more than “taking full advantage of someone.” That’s like claiming to sneak the odd shampoo out of a hotel whilst walking through the door with the shampoo, a bed, last night’s takings and a maid under your arm.

“All I saw was a pair of legs… shirt put down to the waist and I took advantage of her.

Anthony Glass, QC, defending, asked if he thought she was dead or unconscious.

If I was Anthony I would probably have pointed out to Mark that just so he knew, there wasn’t a “right” answer here.

Mr Dixie said: “I would not have expected to see anyone dead in that street.

I don’t expect to see Noel fucking Edmonds walking down my street. If I did my first thought wouldn’t be, “Wow Noel Edmonds, how unusual, I’d better have a piece of him as he’s here.”

But he admitted there was no reaction during the sex attack, even when he bit Miss Bowman.

Again, why not check the pulse. There’s usually some reaction to sex even if it’s just boredom or cramp. You still don’t just bite them.

So in summary he’s accused of
Stabbing some poor woman to death and raping her either while she was dying or after she was dead.

His genius defence is
I found someone unconcious lying in the street so I fucked her and covered her body in concrete dust.

Mark, if you are going to lie in court try and make your defence sound in some way less despicable than what the prosecution are saying.