Popular Myth Smashed

They say you always want what you haven’t got.

Now I’ve grown a pair of my own breasts I can confirm I still like the ones attached to ladies just as much as I did before.

The site has been going for just over a year and there’s your first joke. Same time next year.

Inane Banter

Sale Now On

Here is how I imagine sales working.

Company X gets product Y that they want to sell. They add a margin on it and then sell these onto the customer. After a while the product Y becomes old and stale and everybody wants product Z. Company X wants rid of product Y to make way for the new hotness that is product Z. Company X has a sale and drops the price of Y. People who liked Y but couldn’t afford it now can whilst people with money enjoy product Z. Everybody is happy.

Christmas sales work in a similar way only there’s a huge amount of product as everyone is buying for Christmas. Some things aren’t as popular or the shop buys too many of them. After Christmas it has a January sale to get rid of the excess to make way for next years greatness.

All with me so far? Nothing too complicated with that is there?

OK, now explain to me why a car rental company has just emailed me with it’s January sale? Has it suddenly found itself with a big pile of rental in the corner. “Quick Dave get rid of all this unsold rental, it’s stinking up the place. The new rental arrives next week.” “Fucking hell Steve this rental is getting a bit threadbare, lets sell it on this car quick so we can stick the fresh rental on it as soon as it gets back.” “Oh my God, did you just see Michelle in her January rental? That’s so last year, it’s got to be February rental this season.”

I though that was bad enough until I walked past the bookmakers yesterday and noticed they a sale sign in the window. “Ah shite Sean would you look at all the horse bets we’ve got left over. whatever will we do with them?”

Inane Banter

We’ve Been Expecting You Mr Fatuous

You know how when you are little even silly things can seem perfectly valid and even likely. Logic flies out of the window dragging common sense along with it. It even seems silly enough for you to even dare mention it to peers or family but still the thought remains.

Eventually you grow up and shrug off the silly idea. You admit the were no monsters under your bed, that the bogeyman isn’t hiding in your loft and that your imaginary friend Dave didn’t even exist let alone pull your sister’s hair.

In spite of being well into my 30s, ignoring the logistical nightmares involved let alone the health and safety issues can somebody explain why my adult brain is still toying with the idea that every swimming pool in the country has a shark underneath the pool that they keep locked up until you are the only one in the pool and then they press a button which opens up the little grates at the deep end releasing said chondrichthye?

Inane Banter

Supermarket Baiting

Has your supermarket starting bleating on about how green it is trying to be despite pumping as much crap into the environment as a planet full of brussel sprout eating cows?

How do they show how green they are? By using flimsier and flimsier bags and then trying to get us to reuse them so the trip to and from the car becomes a shopping based game of buckaroo.

I like to bait them. In the boot of my car I have bags from several different supermarkets. If I’m in Sainsburys I use Tesco bags, if in Asda then Morrisons, if in Lidl I’d use a tramps sleeping bag. In your face supermarkets, you’re giving me green points to advertise your competition right under own roof!

I’m not the world’s most dangerous rebel.