FatuousThe last one was Richard Dawkin’s empty fireplace. Jesus and Santa both think he’s a dick.
As is the advent tradition there is no advent tomorrow so all you’ll have left is a similar feeling of empty nothingness where joy should be.
Happy Christmas!
Yesterday’s tricky poser was in fact Jim’ll off of Jim’ll Fix It emerging from a bush wearing only his trademark shiny tracksuit top and a rather angry looking erection.
I’d like to point out that I’m sure Jim’ll doesn’t do this in real life but does do a lot of great work for charity. He did however not respond to my letter as a child asking to go on every rollercoaster in the country. In your face Jim’ll I’ve managed all the good ones all by myself!
Last one.
Obviously yesterday’s was Alan Sugar’s Human Centipede in which the apprentice wannabes had to survive by passing a digested emailer thing via sewn arse/lip passages.
Today’s is a celeb.
Yesterday’s was a field of fainting Gillian McKeiths. Blame I’m a celebrity. Today’s is based on another reality show and a film.
Yesterday’s picture was in fact – Boris Johnson enjoying roast peasant. No idea why but I’m sure he’d enjoy it.
Today’s is
Right at the start of the advent I was unable to use a computer for any great length of time. In order to get the advent done I planned to draw each one. I drew a page full of doodles before I realised that handfuls of prescription drugs and art don’t mix. I’ve kept some of the best as a little quiz in the final run up to Christmas. One each day with the answer the following day.
Warning – They may have little or nothing to do with Christmas or normality as we know it.
Here’s the first one. What is this?
Click if you want to go bigger!
Day 17 was spent sat in my car watching the most snow this fair isle has seen for 25 years. Five hours to get home and I didn’t even see one person slip over. I did see a van skid 90 degrees and block the road though.
News 15th December – It’s going to snow. Danger.
News 16th – Oh my God it’s snowing!
News 17th – Chaos, we’re going to die!
It’s snowmagedon people!
No, the party didn’t kill me. I’ve been too busy doing things to actually post anything. Treat this post like when you go away for the weekend and come back to find you can now eat three chocolates instead of one.
It’s still cheap and nasty plus you’ll feel a bit sick afterwards.
One thing I have been doing is putting up the Christmas decorations. Tree, card holder, stockings, little ornaments etc. All fine and then out comes the tinsel. Why do we bother with it? It just cheapens everything. If you were to drape the Mona Lisa with a bit of tinsel I swear it’d turn into the Athena poster of the tennis player scratching her arse. It’d turn Michelangelo’s David into the plastic butcher you get outside their shops, the Sistine Chapel roof into a bit of Artexing and Tracey Emin’s “My Bed” into Tracey Emin’s “My Bed” with a bit of tinsel.
Ouch.