I spy with my little eye something beggining with Twa.

It’s a dangerous world out there. Half the middle east want to wipe you off the planet, the Russians are going back to their old ways and it seems like even your gran is carrying a knife these days.

The Americans spend billions each year on the CIA to keep tabs on dodgy types and potential dodgy types. They have fingers in all sorts of pies, some of the fingers may not even be their own and the pies may not even have real pastry. The Russian SVR does the same only their fingers have gloves on and the pie is vodka pie.

Both groups attempt to outdo each other and keep on top of external trouble-makers but what about us British? The once proud ruler of most of the world and home of Ian Flemming. What do our spies do to keep up this dangerous and secretive profession?

We send a bloke on telly with a dodgy moustache.

Roger Moore doesn’t seem quite so shit now.