Nobody knows a c*nt like Mickey

Hatred has a new name, his name is Mickey.

The advert is wrong on every possible level. Firstly nobody knows an odious little twat like Mickey because if you did you’d only have two possible choices.

  • Making sure you never saw the prince of high cuntery ever again.
  • Stoving his smug face in with a spade until dandruff was the least of his worries.

Secondly men do not have lots of different hair styles to use as a weapon. At most men have two hairstyles.

  • The “I can’t be bothered” style which is pretty much as you woke up style with and obvious sticky out bits slapped into line with water.
  • The “I might pull, better put some crap in my hair” style.

Any more hairstyles than two and you’re a woman. As if his stupid metrosexual styling weren’t bad enough they have to go and apply them to the smuggest man alive. He makes Tom Cruise look meek.

I’d like to be man enough to admit that the bloke in the advert is a very good actor and isn’t even remotely twattish in real life. However we all know the cunt probably struts round in real life like a cock with the cat that got the cream stuck to it’s head. He probably gives knowing little smiles at complete strangers thinking they are looking at him out of awe when in fact they’re probably thinking “surely no court in the country would lock me up if I murdered the little shit right now in the middle of the street?”

If you really do know a bloke like Mickey run up to him now and shout “cunt” as loud as you can at about 2 inches from his gimpish face. Hopefully Mickeys everywhere will eventually get the message.

Me, I’m taking a trip to spades-r-us just in case I ever stumble across Mickey.