Postman Pat Built My Hotrod

I suppose it was inevitable but it appears that Postman Pat is too sedate for todays ADD riddled school kids. Gone is tootling around a little village delivering post. Now he’s on special delivery and this involves the use of gyrocopters and bullet-time cat rescuing set in the big smoke. There are a few flaws with this.

  • Couriers don’t get access to gyrocopters or speedy delivery. In reality they tend kick your parcel around a warehouse, decide it’s too heavy to bother delivering so pop round with a “you were out” card and do a runner before you reach the front door so you have to travel to back-end of shitville-on-sea to collect it.
  • Surely a pumped up Pat would replace Jess the cat with a tiger or at least a pitbull?
  • He still looks like a nerdy, speccy-eyed, pube-headed twat.
  • Does this mean his old rural post office has been closed down due to lack of custom or is it now a spar with a post office that opens for 5 seconds on the 3rd Tuesday of the month?

What’s next? Chorlton’s Pimp My Wheelie? Pob carrying a knife as well as spitting everywhere? The playschool house being knocked down and turned into apartments? Tony Hart doing a Banksy?

Personally I’m looking forward to Crystal Tipps, Turning Tricks.