RantStar

Recently for no apparent reason I’ve become incredibly intolerant to nearly everything and everybody in the world. There have always been things that upset me but in the past I’ve been able to control the feelings and get away with thinking “tit” in my head. Now I don’t know if it’s my age but thinking in my head moved onto muttering under my breath and has now become more of a stating out loud accompanied by looks of daggers. I am going to get hit one day.

This will do nothing to improve my mood. Last week was especially bad and culminated in me literally screaming at my monitor in a bid to stop my head exploding like that bit in Scanners. I needed a release valve. I settled for explaining this to Mrs Fatuous and asking if she would mind being everything that was wrong with the world for 20 minutes. I then proceeded to rant and rave at her until alcohol took the edge off my temper.

This is not fair on her and the only person who benefits is the local off-licence. What I need is a way to rant and for it to be acceptable. Then I had a brainwave. Singstar allows people to have fun doing the one thing they probably shouldn’t do in public and get away with it. Why instead of Singstar: 80s, Singstar: Emo and the like can’t we have Rantstar?

Rantstar would allow you to scream along with famous rants from TV and film. You would be scored on aggression, volume and possibly spittle.

Here’s an example of what Rantstar: Joe Pesci might look like

Fucking Clown

Come on, doesn’t that look like fun?