Inane Banter

FAO Priests

It can’t be easy being a priest.

I know the bible can be a bit cumbersome and it can be tricky to know what a passage might mean. Hanging around hospitals hoping to save a few souls at the last minute probably takes it’s toll and I’m sure forgiving people sins all the time isn’t exactly fun fun fun.

So to help you remain focused on important matters that might slip your mind from time to time I’ve come up with a handy little aid. If you’d like to make your own version you’ll need a bible, a post-it note, a pen and a pair of scissors. It only took a few minutes and it might really help. I found Exodus 20 a convenient place to put it.


Day Twenty Three

Today’s picture acts as a handy reminder for little children.

That’s right kids, time to crank it up a notch. Parent pestering should be reaching critical mass right about now. If mommy and daddy have even one second to think about something other than Christmas in the past few days then you’ve failed.

Go remind them now.

Hang on, what are you doing reading this blog? It’s got swearing and everything!


Inane Banter

Childhood Etiquette

I was watching some programme or other on the telly the other day and it had children on it. At the end the kids waved goodbye. They were doing the kiddie two hand wave thing where both hands wave maniacally.

Its a wave that only kids do. Adults wave with one hand. If an adult waves with both hands it usually involves the whole arm and it’s a way of getting urgent attention. If it’s not urgent then it tends to be a brief one handed wave of recognition. Young kids wave both both hands from the wrist.

What I can’t remember is what the cut-off age for two hand waving is. Other childish things have clear cut off points and anybody who crosses them gets punished. Woe betide the last boy in class to pee standing up. I still remember when clapping went from both hands together to one hand across the other. Anybody still doing the symmetrical clap got humiliated for, and I’ll warn you now the phrase used wasn’t very PC, spacker-clapping.

As far as I recall the twin waving didn’t have a humiliation stage so I’m not sure when the move to one hand waving came. All I know is that if you think you know someone and start waving then realise you don’t know them it’s far easier to turn the one handed wave into a nonchalant scratch of the head than the turbo twin hander. Maybe that’s the tipping point? Or maybe it’s when you reach pub age and the other hand is occupied with a drink?

Anybody out there have a school tease name for the two handed wave? Any adults still enjoying the two handed wave? How do you recover from it if you realise you’re waving at a complete stranger? Is there such a thing as an incomplete stranger? So many questions.