Why does Santa drink sherry and eat mince pies? Why can’t he drink tequila slammers and eat kebabs instead?
Once a year a bearded man sneaks into your bedroom and promises to leave you gifts. You can’t tell anyone you saw him in your bedroom or no more gifts for you.
Does that sound sexy to you?
It’s obviously a sexy idea for some people.
I took Master Fatuous to visit Santa yesterday. The difficult part isn’t making sure the child doesn’t cry at Santa it’s the elves. Both parties are involved in a straightforward financial transaction, money for a photo with Santa and a gift. However both parties undertake this transaction desperately trying to ignore the fact that one of the parties is dressed as a fairytale elf. One stray thought and the whole process comes crashing down.
Why is it in films Santa’s elves are usually played by young boys but in shopping centres the elves are teenage girls? Come on Santa, which are you Catholic priest or Gary Glitter?