Categories
Inane Banter

We’ve Been Expecting You Mr Fatuous

You know how when you are little even silly things can seem perfectly valid and even likely. Logic flies out of the window dragging common sense along with it. It even seems silly enough for you to even dare mention it to peers or family but still the thought remains.

Eventually you grow up and shrug off the silly idea. You admit the were no monsters under your bed, that the bogeyman isn’t hiding in your loft and that your imaginary friend Dave didn’t even exist let alone pull your sister’s hair.

In spite of being well into my 30s, ignoring the logistical nightmares involved let alone the health and safety issues can somebody explain why my adult brain is still toying with the idea that every swimming pool in the country has a shark underneath the pool that they keep locked up until you are the only one in the pool and then they press a button which opens up the little grates at the deep end releasing said chondrichthye?

Categories
Inane Banter

Very Fishy

I see the other week that an Irish swimmer had tested positive for a banned substance.

What sort of substances are banned for swimmers? I mean things like propellers and flippers are going to be easily spotted. Even subtle things like gills will be easy enough to spot when he starts to flap around on the winners rostrum.

My bet? The guy’s on plankton.