Food Inane Banter

Not So Jammy

There was a man I used to know at work who was the embodiment of single-man’s logic. It was the perfect example of logical minimalism combined with deep, deep sadness. So he went through the minimal amount of effort and waste for his lunch at work this is what he used to do.

The night before he would take two slices of frozen bread from his sliced loaf in the freezer. He would spread jam on the frozen pieces, stick them together, wrap in cling-film and put them in the fridge. By the time he got to work the next day and it reached lunch time his bread had defrosted and he had a jam sandwich for his lunch.

It was both nerd genius and also a shining example of why men need women to save them from becoming lazy, pitiful creatures. However he is a god compared to anyone sad enough to need to buy this sandwich. This isn’t just sadness, this is Marks & Spencer dying a virgin sadness.

Inane Banter

You’ll Go Blind

Did I miss the bit in the bible where Jesus said, “it is easier for a man with more brains than a retarded slug to enter heaven than it is for a whale to pass through gnat’s chuff?”

Around 50 people in India have gone blind looking for the Virgin Mary in the sun. That’s one impressive level of stupid. That’s right up there with refusing medicine and relying on prayer alone to cure your childs illness. Your faith may be unshakable but so is the science behind staring at very bright things. Sounds like it was the only bright thing you could stare at around there.

It also appears the church is right about what will happen to you if you spend your time looking at virgins.