Inane Banter

Dear Peugeot

Dear Peugeot,

With the ongoing credit crunch and general hard times for the motor industry you may be looking to reduce your costs. I have a suggestion that may help.

They say the biggest cost to a company is it’s workforce. May I suggest an easy saving to make is to find the designer responsible for the front lights on the 205 and the 206 and sack his sorry arse right out of door. Who thought that silly metal spring was a good idea? Everybody else has simple twisty bits of plastic but that’s obviously not Gallic enough for you. Why spend 5 minutes changing a bulb when you can spend 40 minutes flicking away at a stupid bit of metal then having to find a child because only their tiny little hands fit in the space your designer thought was acceptable for prying at the stubbord spring.

A further saving could be made by firing the author of the manual that thought opening the spring was a simple case of squeezing gently at the top. Did they even see the spring or was the concept of the device whispered to them casually at the end of an absinthe filled Christmas party? Please update the documentation replacing it with the following –

Claw blindly round the back of the bits of metal you can’t actually see, ignoring the area specified in the diagram, until something sharp embeds itself into your already raw and bleeding fingers. Painfully flick this sliver of metal around like a teenage boy pleasuring his first love if his first love were in fact made of barbed wire for 20 minutes until you happen to stumble on the correct direction. Watch helplessly as the spring flies away from the lights into some dark crevice under the dirtiest, tightest part of the engine.


Mr Fatuous

I appreciate that this blog post is very niche but the 205 and 206 were popular cars and I can’t have been the only poor sod to have to change the bulbs in them. Besides, it’s cheaper than therapy and less likely to get me locked up than screaming my lungs out and pissing on every French car I see.