Food Inane Banter

The Smell of Success

Boffins have  broken down the smell of chips.

Nine aromas including butterscotch, cocoa, onion, cheese and even …ironing boards, all combine to help make chips one of Britain’s iconic dishes, it is said.


Dr Graham Clayton said: “Whether oven-cooked or fried, the humble chip doesn’t smell of just chips”

I think you’ll find that’s exactly what they smell of.

“Perhaps these findings will see chips treated like wine in the future – with chip fans turning into buffs as they impress their friends with eloquent descriptions of their favourite fries.”

Yes of course that’s what will happen. “Mmmmm I’m getting butterscotch with a hint of marzipan.” “No Dave, you’re getting fat you greasy bastard.”

Can’t the brainiacs just enjoy chips for being a greasy treat.

Next weeks shocking news from the lab, “wanking, it’s just applying friction to your genitals.”

Inane Banter

Welcome To Our New Black Hole Dwelling Masters

So far the proton smashing doodad has failed to kill us all. There’s not even a whiff of destruction or invading creatures pouring through a rift in space.

Come on boffins, this is your moment to shine, at least make the sky a bit darker and maybe a bit of lightning.

Update – In case anybody wants up to date information on whether the earth has been destroyed they should go to this website. Or, you know, look out of the window. If you don’t have a window any more it’s probably safe to assume the earth is being destroyed. Have you always had that yawning chasm of nothingness in your back garden? That’s another clue.