Tag: turkey

Looks like this duck is making up for not being very Christmassy what with the hat and the bauble. “But wait,” you say, “you can eat duck at Christmas.” You can but as I’ll show it’s not a flattering creature.

• Turkey – Middle of the road unimaginative types. Often served with ham too so double the meat fun.
• Goose – Posh people. Wolfed down in time to stand for the Queen’s speech then off to beat foxes with polo mallets.
• Duck – Posh people who don’t have any friends. Small enough that you can finish it off on your own before crying into your vintage port.
• Bernard Matthew’s Turkey Drummers – The bedsit Christmas feast. You can splash out and serve it with Ye Old Oak Ham if your giro came early.
• Nut Roast – Veggie option that makes the baby Jesus cry. Shepards came to visit him, not nut growers.
• Sticks, mud and a wicker man – Pagan beardies still upset that their excuse to freeze their bits off dancing in the snow was hijacked by the church.
• Special Brew with a bit of tinsel on top – Tramps.

I’ve also just noticed he’s only centimeters away from being buggered by a reindeer which I’m not sure is the true meaning of Christmas.