Category: Advent

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Quiz Day 1

Right at the start of the advent I was unable to use a computer for any great length of time. In order to get the advent done I planned to draw each one. I drew a page full of doodles before I realised that handfuls of prescription drugs and art don’t mix. I’ve kept some of the best as a little quiz in the final run up to Christmas. One each day with the answer the following day.

Warning – They may have little or nothing to do with Christmas or normality as we know it.

Here’s the first one. What is this?

Click if you want to go bigger!

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day 18

Day 17 was spent sat in my car watching the most snow this fair isle has seen for 25 years. Five hours to get home and I didn’t even see one person slip over. I did see a van skid 90 degrees and block the road though.

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Days 15 and 16

News 15th December – It’s going to snow. Danger.
News 16th – Oh my God it’s snowing!
News 17th – Chaos, we’re going to die!
It’s snowmagedon people!

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Days 12, 13, 14

No, the party didn’t kill me. I’ve been too busy doing things to actually post anything. Treat this post like when you go away for the weekend and come back to find you can now eat three chocolates instead of one.

It’s still cheap and nasty plus you’ll feel a bit sick afterwards.

One thing I have been doing is putting up the Christmas decorations. Tree, card holder, stockings, little ornaments etc. All fine and then out comes the tinsel. Why do we bother with it? It just cheapens everything. If you were to drape the Mona Lisa with a bit of tinsel I swear it’d turn into the Athena poster of the tennis player scratching her arse. It’d turn Michelangelo’s David into the plastic butcher you get outside their shops, the Sistine Chapel roof into a bit of Artexing and Tracey Emin’s “My Bed” into Tracey Emin’s “My Bed” with a bit of tinsel.

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Eleven

Ouch.

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Ten

Sorry, Mr Fatuous is on his Work’s Christmas Do at the moment. If you’d like to leave a message he’ll get back to you as soon as he can.

Sunday probably.

He’s not as young as he used to be.

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Nine

If there is one thing writing this set of advent posts has taught me, it’s that there is no limit to the number of times I can type Chrsitmas rather than Christmas.

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Eight

(Ho Ho Ho) Jolly Fellow Search rpt RC (S)

2010-12-25 00:15:00

DE 25 conducting cordon search operation in Lapland reported receiving PRSNT fire from a BG RD SNTA. FF returned fire. No casualties or damage reported. Light covering in snow and tinsel. Mince pies and sherry missing.

Update 1219D*
SNTA broke contact. NFTR.

***Event closed 1219D*



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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Seven

Who decided that “carrot and stick” was a good way to represent reward and punishment? Even in deepest, darkest Soviet Russia a carrot wouldn’t be seen as a very good reward. It’s only a tiny step up from a “non-stick and stick” reward.

Surely “nice chocolate cake and gun” would be better or to take it to it’s extreme, “a gazillion quid and death by tiny, horny sharks with STDs”.

Wait, it’s erm, an advent post, erm… What about a “hand wrapped gold bar and tinsel covered stick up the arse” situation, would that do?

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Advent

Advent 2010 – Day Six

Oi Jona Lewie, fuck off out of my head.

Dub a dubba dub dub indeed