Advent 2009 – Day 22

Do you remember your first deodorant? It doesn’t matter if you don’t because if you were a boy it was probably Lynx. Either that or you are too old and you just used soap and water. There’s also a tiny chance you hit puberty in the two week window when insignia was popular but it’s a fairly safe bet it was Lynx.

The hormone addled you would spray every nook and cranny hoping to

a) Mask the teenage funk that oozed out of every pore.

b) Impress the girls

Lynx failed in both regards as it was useless. An hour after using it the smell had completely gone and teenage odour resumed. This was genius as Lynx was all you knew so instead of trying something else you just kept applying it throughout the day. Then as soon as you hit your twenties you discover right-guard or one of the other antiperspirants that actually work and Lynx is no more.

Of course your family never realise this and you are doomed to get a gift box of Lynx goodies every Christmas. The deodorant is either shoved in a gym bag or used as an air freshener in the toilet. You try and use the shower gel and quickly remember that unlike every other shower gel in the world, even the cheapest, don’t suffer the same flaw as Lynx shower gel.

The flaw both makes sure you buy more Lynx than you need and also helps teenage boys by reminding them of a certain part of their teenage bodies.

If you even so much a look at it funny then stuff start glooping out of the end. Touch it and it ends up all over the floor.


Day Eighteen

It’s a choirboy probably blasting out “little donkey” for all it’s worth.

It’s a rather unfortunate choirboy though. He has a funny sticky-out ear and a dodgy eye.

Worst of all he appears to be lacking a bottom half and as any priest will tell you, a choirboy without a bottom half is no choirboy at all.