Advent 2009 – Christmas Day

Poor little Sally, she fell off a building onto heroin syringes whilst rescuing her little sister from a gang of Columbian drug lords armed with chainsaws.

Her legs crushed, arms brittle twigs, blind and forced to breathe through a machine, every day is a terrible struggle.

And then to make things worse along came Noel Edmonds, looming over her, drenching her in saccharine.

Merry Christmas little Timmy, Merry Christmas everyone*

* Even Noel**

** but mainly for swap shop***

*** and that was mainly for the dinosaur****

**** and Cheggars