Advent 2009 – Day 13

How to play the Doris Dare game.

Any day now you should be receiving your first “Doris” card.

A large number of you may have no idea what a “Doris” card is, even those who receive or even, heaven forbid, send them. It’s very simple, there is only one real rule.

If the card consists of a photograph, primarily of a Christmas scene then it’s a Doris. Baubles are always popular as are robins. It must be a photograph though, it’s easy to think you have a Doris when in fact some idiot has painstakingly painted a photo-realistic bauble.

Doris experts can spot a Doris before they even open the card. Giving you these handy clues will allow you to gamble and play the Doris Dare game. To play the Doris Dare game you have to guess before opening the envelope whether the card will be a Doris. Get it right and you win a point, get it wrong and you have to send a Doris card out yourself. The overall loser must send nothing but Doris cards the next year.

Doris Clues

  1. Is the envelope suspiciously light? Doris cards are usually made of the flimsiest paper going.
  2. Has the envelope been written in the spidery scrawl of a pensioner?
  3. Are you surprised that the card got there at all the address is so incorrect?
  4. Has the price of posting gone up at least twice since the stamp on the envelope was purchased?

Happy Doris hunting everyone. I’ll try and post some samples as they arrive. I usually get at least two.