Oi Blumenthal, you’d better get you turkey in now at just over room temperature if you want it cooked by Christmas next year.
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Category: Advent
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Advent 2009 – Day 9
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Advent 2009 – Day 8
Queuing in the rain, fighting other parents, paying way over the odds just so you can see the rosy glow of your kids faces on Christmas day?
That glow just got that bit easier thanks to Mr Squiggle’s antimony.
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Advent 2009 – Day 7
There is a campaign on Facebook to try and get “Killing In The Name” by Rage Against The Machine to number one instead of whichever song Cowell tries to butcher.
Obviously these sorts of things get a bit of press but ultimately fail. It’s a shame as in my youth I enjoyed the delicious irony of standing in a field with thousands of other people shouting “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” as much as the next man. Or the next thousand men for that matter.
There is only one way the scheme could possibly win. Somebody bundle Jedward into a studio and get them to record it. I’d pay good money to hear the little haircunts growling “Motherfucker!”
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Advent 2009 – Day 6
It wouldn’t be Christmas without the pointless Christmas number one. As if the fact that nobody buys singles any more wasn’t enough to devalue the chart along comes the gigantic talent vacuum called the X Factor to make sure only the blandest, most insipid, wanky old horse-piss gets to number one.
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Advent 2009 – Day 5
Celebrity perfumes, who wants to smell like a celebrity?
If I wanted the whiff of make-up, crushed dreams and drugs I’d have gone to live with a troupe of Glaswegian clowns.
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Advent 2009 – Day 4
Nothing says I love the tacky side of Christmas quite like this
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest the tax payer pays the electricity bills of 90% of “blackpool houses.” I’m sure there are countries that survive on less electricity than some of these houses.
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Advent 2009 – Day 3
Come on Steve! This time you can make it.
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Advent 2009 – Day 2
So much bile, so little high ground to stand on to stop it slopping round his ankles.
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Advent 2009 – Day 1
The song of this hairy angel beckons in Christmas time.
That’s right, it’s Noddy Holder fucking the ears of Christmas shoppers once again.