Categories
Inane Banter

FAO Priests

It can’t be easy being a priest.

I know the bible can be a bit cumbersome and it can be tricky to know what a passage might mean. Hanging around hospitals hoping to save a few souls at the last minute probably takes it’s toll and I’m sure forgiving people sins all the time isn’t exactly fun fun fun.

So to help you remain focused on important matters that might slip your mind from time to time I’ve come up with a handy little aid. If you’d like to make your own version you’ll need a bible, a post-it note, a pen and a pair of scissors. It only took a few minutes and it might really help. I found Exodus 20 a convenient place to put it.

Categories
Advent

Day Seventeen

Oh look, it’s a penguin. Cocky little fucker isn’t even wearing the hat, he thinks he’s Christmassy enough.

Slight problem.

  1. We do not eat penguins at Christmas.
  2. There is no mention of penguins in the bible. I did a search to make sure. Even Noah didn’t have to bother about them what with them being aquatic and all that.
  3. Penguins didn’t visit the baby Jesus. Bethlehem seems to be lacking in ice flows.
  4. “Ah but penguins love snow and Father Christmas lives in a snowy place,” I hear you say. Nice try but Santa either lives in Lapland or the North Pole depending on who you believe. Both are very northerly one is as north as you can get. Penguins are found in the Southern Hemisphere and generally speaking very south at that.

So Mr la-de-da look at me I’m a penguin, put the hat on or get off my advent you un-Christmassy interloper. I don’t care if you’ve got a tux on or not.